No Longer Allowed At Hogwarts: Sirius style
by SinnerxXxAmongxXxThexXxSaints
Summary: A list of things Sirius is no longer allowed to do at Hogwarts, with a different ending...A oneshot


Things Sirius Black Is Not Allowed To Do In Hogwarts

Disclaimer: I own nothing except my sick sense of humor

**Sirius' POV**

Every year Moony made him write a list. A list of things that he had done that year (up until Christmas, when he annually wrote the list) that he was no longer allowed to do at Hogwarts. And here was the list.

**The Sexy Sirius Blacks list of things he is no longer allowed to do to at Hogwarts**

**I am no longer allowed to ask if I can grope Professor McGonagall**

**I am no longer allowed to walk around the corridors in a fairy costume just to walk around in a fairy costume. **

**I am no longer allowed to sign my papers as "The Great and Sexy Sirius Black"**

**I am no longer allowed to dress up as James and embarrass my self to ruin Prongs' (little) reputation**

**I am no longer allowed to ask Lily for a neck rub while in vincity of James**

**I am no longer allowed to give first years Fire Whiskey.**

**I am no longer allowed to draw dirty words and images on James' face when he wakes up late.**

**I am no longer allowed to give James condoms for Christmas and I am also no longer allowed to give Lily birth control for Christmas.**

**I am no longer allowed to place hundreds of vicious squirrels in Snivellius' dorm.**

**I am no longer allowed to steal Remus' chocolate. **

**I am no longer allowed to ask Remus if his wolf senses are tingling.**

**I am no longer allowed to place Peters hand in warm water while he is taking his Between class nap and I am also no longer allowed to place a charm on him so he will not feel that he has wet himself.**

**I am no longer allowed to make elves strip tease on holidays in the Great Hall**

**I am no longer allowed to place whoopee cushions on Professor Dumbledore's chair in the Great Hall**

**I am no longer allowed to charm Killer Butterflies into attacking Snivellius**

**I am no longer allowed to lock Lily and James into broom closets (although they enjoy it more than they put off).**

**I am no longer allowed to tell first years that Professor Flitwicks first name is actually Yoda**

**I am no longer allowed to introduce paint ball to Peeves**

**I am no longer allowed to bring the Giant Squid as my date to the Yule Ball**

**I am no longer allowed to follow potion instruction's in opposite order to see what happens**

**I am no longer allowed to lock Gryffindors and Slytherins in rooms and take bets on who comes out alive**

**I am no longer allowed to tell the first years that the Whomping Willow is a god idea to build a tree house.**

**I am not a member of the unheard of Fifth House of Hogwarts, nor am I it's founder**

…And on went the list. For pages and pages…for year after year he wrote those lists'. From his first year, to his seventh year, to finally, where he had to write lists' that were titled.

"**Things Sirius Black Is No Longer allowed to Do In Muggle Elevators"**

"**Things Sirius Black Is No Longer allowed to do on James and Lily's dates"**

"**Things Sirius Black Is No Longer allowed to do during Lily and James' wedding day"**

"**Things Sirius Black Is No Longer Allowed to do to James and Lily's baby (Harry)" **

…There had to be hundreds and hundreds of papers filled with things Sirius wasn't allowed to do.

In fact, every Christmas they had they would read the lists around the fire and laugh until their sides were sore from laughing. It went from The all single Marauders laughing at the Dirty words Sirius has scribbled in the corners of the lists when they were first years, to where James and Lily sat curled up together, with the Sirius and Remus reading. Millions of memories filled those list. And on days were Remus was wallowing in his thoughts of all of his friends being dead, and all he could remember were horror streaked memories of his friends all dieing around him in Battles, he would read those lists' and remember his favorite memories.

Like the time James and Sirius tried feeding Snape to the Giant Squid, or when Sirius had become famously drunk at Lily and James' wedding and turned Petunia into a Horse.

Or, when Harry was born and he actually cried, because he knew that this small baby would change the world, because, hey, look at who his parents were.

Remus would give any thing to have to make Sirius to write those lists again. _Anything _to have his friends back. Alive and happy.

**.xXx.**

**Hey everyone…Hope you liked that…wasn't much but I liked it. ) chocolate cookies to all who review…Well, love you all and look for more one-shots (after all I AM the One-Shot queen…Lol. Just Kidding)**

**Love,**

**Sinner**


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